View Full Version : Noah's Ark 2007 edition

03-08-2007, 04:55 PM
In the year 2007, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
> United States , and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked

> overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
> Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few
> good humans."
> He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the
> Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
> Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
> yard
> - but no Ark.
> "Noah!" He roared , "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"
> "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
> building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need
> for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
> neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
> the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board
> for a decision.
> Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond
> be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other
> obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I
> told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear
> nothing of it.
> Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
> trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
> environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no
> When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
> They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
> They argued the accommodation was too restrictive , and it was cruel
> and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
> Then the EPA ruled that I couldn 't build the Ark until they'd
> conducted an environental impact study on your proposed flood.
> I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
> Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my

> crew.
> Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of
> most of the people who want to work.
> The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
> only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
> To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm
> trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
> So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
> finish this Ark. "
> Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow str
> etched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean
> you're not going to destroy the world?"
> "No," said the Lord.
> "The government beat me to it."

03-08-2007, 05:16 PM
:red: :red: :clapping: :clapping: